I hope everyone is doing okay, amidst everything that’s going on around the world right now. I think the goal for me this year is just to survive through all this chaos.
I want to share a little encouragement to remind myself to keep going. I hope it’ll remind you too.
Bob, the grasshopper
I want to tell you a story of a grasshopper; let’s call him “Bob”. I found him on my windshield one morning when I got in the car. My husband told me to just drive and he’ll leave. So I drove, and Bob realize the wind was getting big as I saw his antenna fly like crazy. I thought he would jump off the next time I came to a stop sign or traffic light, but nope; he held on.
When I got onto the highway, I worried he’d get blown off if he doesn’t fly…
I started thinking about this topic during the holiday season. The holidays are all about folks gathering and celebrating together. Ironically, I think that’s why it can make people more aware of being alone. In this social media age, “being alone” gets a bad reputation. I see many books and conferences about how to develop and find community, but not many books that explore the other side of reality – of being alone. Being alone and feeling alone are different. One can be physically alone, and still feel content. On the other hand, even when surrounded by family and friends, one can still feel isolated and disconnected.
What I find challenging about the feeling of regret is that I can’t change the past. What is done is done. I don’t know about you, but I have a bad habit of repeating these memories in my mind. Every time I remembered the situation, it stirred up the feelings of shame and disappointment. Recently, I’ve been learning a new way to respond to these feelings of regret. And it’s very simple – let go of the past and move forward. 🙂 Yep. It’s that simple… but simple doesn’t mean it’s easy. When a friend first said that to me, it was really hard for me to receive. The feeling of regret is usually accompanied by guilt, and I could not let go of the guilt for some reason.
I don’t have a green thumb. When I first met my husband, he gave me a cute potted miniature rose. One morning, I put it on the patio for some sun, and promptly forgot about it… until a week later. Alas, the tiny rose was no match for the fierce California sun. Needless to say, my husband never gave me plants again. My dad, however, grew up on a farm, and plants thrive under his care. Recently, I wanted to plant a rose in the backyard of our new home. With my dad’s help, we planted a healthy and robust rose bush. The first bloom was glorious! The beautiful blossoms were as big as a grapefruit, and bloomed for days. After the flowers wilted, I continued to water and care for the plant. However, when some of the leaves started to shrivel and yellow. I knew something was wrong.
If you haven’t heard, July is journal writing month. Keeping a journal is a great way to be mindful and reflect on our busy lives. There are many different styles of journaling. Some popular recent trend includes bullet journaling, or using journaling prompts. Personally, I’ve found journaling a great resource for processing through emotions. I love to write out my thoughts by hand. I love the feel of the pen moving on paper. While some people journal digitally, I still prefer the old fashioned way of handwriting. There’s something about the process that’s quite satisfying.
This is a hard topic to write about because no one likes to face or think about our own anger or negativity. I grew up around family members who had a tendency to have angry outbursts. Part of me still feels very traumatized by these episodes. Never did I think that I could also lose control like them. I understand that feeling angry itself is not a sin. Even Jesus was angry on many occasions. However, I am still responsible for my actions and words when I’m angry. A while back, there were a few occasions where I lost control in anger and said some hurtful things to loved ones. Someone finally confronted me about my unacceptable behavior. It was then I had to acknowledge to myself about the deep frustrations I’ve been experiencing.