Trust & Rest

I had a pretty hectic schedule these last few weeks. We patched up an unexpected leaky roof, filed taxes, and celebrated Chinese New Year (which is kind of like Christmas for Chinese families except kids get “lucky money” from relatives instead of gifts from Santa.) Only now can I get back to my normal routine. Feeling drained, I made sure to take things easy the week after the festivities to rest up. Usually, a few free afternoons are all I need to recover and feel rested. However, last night, when our internet had a slight hiccup, I went into full-on panic mode again. The sudden wave of anxiety shocked me. The week of rest I had before didn’t seem to matter much. Emotionally, I felt like I had not rested at all.

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My Journey With Anxiety

I wrestle with anxiety often. I’m not sure if it’s an Asian thing, but many of my girlfriends also have similar struggles.  When I was young, when my mom came home late from work, I would jump to the worst scenario possible and couldn’t shake it off.  It’s weird.  I remember having a rather carefree childhood.  Somewhere along the way, this fearful mindset snuck in.

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Thoughts about 2017

The clock just struck midnight, and it is now officially the last day of 2017.  In the past, I took the last days of the year to meditate and think about the future directions.  This year, however, I’m doing something different.  I’ve been thinking about what I’ve learned and how I’ve changed in the last twelve months.

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The Changing of Seasons

Last week was the fall equinox, which marked the beginning of the fall season. The afternoon sun already started to take on an orange glow. I lived in the Pacific Northwest for a few years, and the seasonal changes there are especially prominent. As soon as October hits, all of the leaves turned into shades of red and started to fall.  There and then I understood why the fall season was aptly named “fall.” The aroma of apple cider and cinnamon filled the air. Pumpkins appeared on every porch. I loved how the seasons were so clearly defined. It gave me a clear message that summer was over. It’s time to enjoy the apple harvest and get ready for winter.

Similarly, we also have seasons in our spiritual lives. There are “spring” seasons where new relationships and opportunities blossom.  There are “winter” seasons where all outward growths seem to stop. However, even though we are very familiar with seasonal changes in the natural, most of us are not aware of how to adapt to the seasonal changes in the spiritual.

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Thoughts on Grief & Loss

Recently, a relative passed away. He lived a long life, over 100 years old. Yet, when I went to his service, it still felt bittersweet. He wasn’t a close relative. Nevertheless, there’s something about a person’s passing that is sobering since it heightens one’s sense of mortality. Perhaps I knew the family too well, I ended up paying very close attention to my grieving friends more than the service itself.  The dead was at peace, but the living was not.

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Playing with Brush Lettering & Modern Calligraphy

I just joined Instagram recently, and immediately, my feeds have been flooded with videos of watercolor brush lettering and calligraphy scripts. In the States, brush lettering and modern calligraphy have been making a comeback in the craft world. It is mesmerizing watching people create these beautiful and elegant artwork. These artists make the process look so easy.  However, as I quickly found out, the basic strokes may look simple, but mastering them takes patience and practice.

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Simplicity Day – Just Be! :D

Did you know that July 12 is “Simplicity Day”?  Neither did I.  😀  In honor of the “Simplicity Day”, I’m going to remember to “Just be.”  Honestly, I’ve been trying to work through a creative slump lately, and trying different things to get my muse back. But, I think that is my problem… I’ve been trying too hard.  So today, I’m going to remember to stop striving, shut off any self criticism or expectations (from me or anyone else), and just be me. Can’t get any simpler than that.  Enjoy! 🙂

Purpose of Life – A feminine perspective

There has been a flurry of discussions about femininity lately.  Whether we realize it or not, we all deal with many cultural and social opinions on how we should behave as women. Growing up as a first generation immigrant in the San Francisco Bay Area, I was bombarded with conflicting expectations from all sides.  East vs. West.  Traditional vs. Modern. I felt like an “in-between” person in many ways, not quite belonging to any group. What does this mean for me as a woman? I felt confused and frustrated.

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Thoughts On a Quiet Sunday Morning

This Sunday morning, I woke up with an unusual sense of Peace. Not wanting to wake up my husband, I took a cup of tea and sat in the study. Sunday mornings are often the most peaceful time. Why is that? Perhaps it is the lack of traffic zooming down the street. Sunday morning is simply a slower and quieter time for folks in my neighborhood. I’ve experienced this same quietness before. The stillness is similar, but on this particular Sunday, there’s an extra sense of hope and delight – a “smile from heaven” if you will.  

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