In the last few podcasts, I shared some tips to help folks reconnect with God. I’m going to take a break this month and share some things I love about my journey. I’ll be sharing this in three episodes, so please stayed tuned. Have a great week!
Here’s the podcast transcript:
Welcome to the Sabbath Café Podcast. This is episode 114 – Finding Freedom – Part 1.
Hello! This is Michele from Sabbath Café Podcast. In the last few podcasts we explored some ways to help you jumpstart your personal walk with God. Today I thought we’d take a break from that and just share what I love about my experience.
The church I grew up in was very structured. My paster was always like “read your scripture”, and “have your daily devotions.” We always had prayer meetings on Wednesdays, and so it was very structured time and it was great. I felt like it gave me a great foundation to start with. But when I finished my last full time ministry position, I had transitioned out of that. And so to kind of moving away from a really tight knit community, I sort of went to the other extreme.
So I had a lot of time on my hands. And the thing was… to go back to my old routine of structure, it just reminded me so much of my old community, which I should be having closure with. And so all of a sudden, I went from very structured meetings to having no meetings. And I went from always having these spiritual exercises with people… because I was meeting with people all the time, to just having a personal time with God…. just me and God. And so that took a little bit of an adjustment.
So I was sort of burnt out with my old routines… And at that time, I came across ways of… like spiritual exercises that I’ve always wanted to try, but it wasn’t very helpful with people. Whether it’s silence or just soaking in worship music, just sitting there and soaking for like half an hour, 15 minutes … and just having the music playing. And what I discovered was I was actually really tired in my heart. I was really tired because when you’re with people, it’s great, it’s fun. But I was always weary, also, of how to walk together with them. I couldn’t really be me…. Because a part of myself… I couldn’t take the time that I needed… and so… when we start a meeting or start a bible study, you have to work with everyone’s pace and it was always a group thing. I really didn’t get to read up on the subject I wanted to read up on. So when I finally had time on my own… I realized hey, one of the good thing is I can now look into the things I wanted to look into… which probably nobody else wanted to read or nobody else wanted to learn. And so that’s what I did… for a season.
And that’s the thing… I felt, in my time with God, I would ask God about direction, what should I do, you know, finishing up one chapter, what should I do in the next chapter, what do I do in between. I just felt like God… you know, everything to me is yes and amen. And so He reminded me of that verse, and I was like okay, great.
I really loved, worship, like music. Music really speaks to me. So I would find certain instrumental worship music that I’d just loved, and I would soak on my own, and I would bring these music with me to prayer meetings before, but prayer meetings had a structure, so you had to, you know, worship…and then you know, you pray and you finish up. But when it’s just me and God… it’s whatever I like…so some of the time when I just hang out with God, I just play these instrumental music in the back ground. And I just sat. And I would brew myself a nice cup of tea. And I’ll just sat there. And I would just… just allow myself to be.
Sometimes if the music move me, I’ll cry. And I could never have done that before. You just don’t do that. Because it’s very traumatizing to some… it makes people uncomfortable, I think, when you’re overly emotional at some meetings. And it’s a very private thing too. I wouldn’t want to cry when I’m praying with a bunch of people I may or may not know very well. So I realized there is a safety in having that personal time with God. I could play the type of music I wanted to. I could soak for as little as 10 minutes. Or as long as an hour.
Sometimes in the middle of soaking, and just kind of sitting there, and kind of enjoying not having to say anything. Enjoying not having to be the leader… because I was working a lot. So all of a sudden I don’t have to be all of these things to other people. I don’t have to force myself to act a certain way. If I wanted to be chatty with God, I can. If I don’t, I won’t. God always knew where I was at anyways. So I have the freedom to just be with God. Be honest with God. And just be myself with God. Wherever and whenever I wanted to. And however long I wanted to. And that’s when I realized that wow, you know, there’s a freedom… I enjoy the freedom. I started to enjoy the freedom of having this private time with God.
And that’s the end of part 1. We will continue with part 2 in the next episode. Thanks for listening and have a great week!